Did you know that…Boundaries are good?!

NOTE: Sorry about my 3 month break.  It’s been a crazy summer. Thanks for understanding.

Setting personal boundaries is a kin to the boundaries and borders of a country. To get in to a foreign country, certain procedures need to happen. You don’t determine what those are, each country determines for itself. Think of yourself in that way. The boundaries you set are for yourself: what you’re willing to do or not do, eat or not eat, watch or not watch, say or not say, allow or not allow,  etc. You determine who or what gets in. The boundaries that you set boil down to what you allow in.

As you cannot control the actions of others you cannot set boundaries for others. (Well, parenting minors aside because…kids).  Here’s the greatest part: The reasons for your boundaries are yours and don’t have to make sense to anyone else. Take me, for example; I don’t like pickles (most pickled foods, really, not just dill pickled cucumbers) so I do not eat them. Yuk! No, thank you. I’ve been asked why I don’t like them. I just don’t. I don’t like them, so guess what? I don’t eat them. (GASP!) It’s that simple! In a world where the spirit of offense runs rampant, isn’t it nice to realize that you can set your very own boundaries? Here’s another really cool thing about boundaries. Are you ready? They. Are. Flexible! What!? Yep! They’re flexible. Why? Because they are yours. As you grow and change, so will your boundaries. You want an example, you say? OK!  As mentioned earlier, I don’t like pickles so I don’t eat them. Well, when I was pregnant with Kid 1, I craved pickles, like, A LOT!!! I was literally growing and changing, and so that boundary had to grow and/or change with me.

Ok…That example is a bit cheesy.  Here’s are better ones: The guy who ate very unhealthy for years til it finally caught up with him and he had a whole slew of health problems.  New boundaries for him might be: no more junk food. The abused wife who accepted her husband’s nightly beatings for years til the one time it landed her in the hospital.  New boundaries for her might be: leave him. The couple with wicked potty mouths who drop the F-bomb every other sentence til the hear their 2-year-old say it too. New boundaries for them might be: no more bad words.  You get the picture…as you grow & change what you allow will too.

Not all boundaries are as easy as, I don’t like it, so…um, no thank you.  Some boundaries are not crystal clear and setting them is very hard. I’ll use myself as an example:  For the past few months, I’ve been struggling with cutting someone out of my life, at least temporarily.  

(to lighten the mood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzGRCPyd-h0 )

This person hurts me emotionally and “crosses the line” all too often.  (FYI it’s not my husband – he’s awesome). I’ve been praying about it and talking to a few trusted friends and advice has been widespread from “cut (them) off” to “love them.”  So, I decided to not make a move until God gave me a clear direction, and I continued to pray about it. Well, after three sermons from three vastly different preachers (John Morgan, Wally Odum, and Larry Brey) I got my answer from God.  It wasn’t what I was expecting, It’s not going to be easy, but I shall obey.

Ya see, friends, boundaries are good.  They protect us. God’s boundaries are for our good.  “You shall not commit adultery.” (Excodus 20:14) is not about telling us what we can’t do.  It’s about protecting our marriages. If you’re one that is tempted by this, then obedience is uncomfortable.  If you’re not tempted by this, then it’s easy and you likely see the freedom in boundaries.  God favors obedience and redefining God’s word to fit our own will is the original sin and the catalyst to ungodly living.

So now, if you faithfully obey me and stay true to my covenant, you will be my most precious possession out of al the peoples, since the whole earth belongs to me.

Exodus 19:5 (CEB)

That’s my story. What’s yours? What boundaries need to be realigned with God’s word?